Bonsoir à tous ! Voila je viens tout juste de terminer ma préparation orale du bac sur la notion Idea of progress. Je voudrais savoir si vous pouviez m'aider à corriger mes fautes ? Merci d'avance ! I’m going to talk about the idea of progress. First of all, I would like to give a definition of the following notion: the idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or social advance which makes the world better. Is technological progress good or bad ? To begin with, I would like to talk about technology progress because it's a representation of our actual world where the technology becomes better every day. For instance, we’ve seen that S.J gave technology the power to change the way of life and he also succeed in changing the music industry by creating a small product; the Ipod which permitted us to listen to music whenever we want. And he also was the first men who did the first computer managed by a mouse. Indeed, for companies, the using of computers led to a gain of time, therefore a gain of money. The exchanges are now faster than before with the invention of Internet. Sales and purchases are now facilitated and possible worldwide. These advances contributed to increase the productivity of companies and raise the quality of the products. It is also useful for our everyday life and allows us to have better communications between us. Thanks to social networks we are now able to rediscovering long lost friends or to share our activities. We can have an instantaneous discussion with a friend thousands of miles from our home. Also, we can access any information at the touch of a button from almost any location. The social network has become an important element in our lives because of it being quick and easy to use. People have become busy in spite of their jobs, so they want to keep in touch with their family members and their friends in the easiest way. So, new technologies in general have improved our living conditions. However it has drawbacks. For instance through a trailer of movie untitled “Surviving progress” we‘ve seen the impact of “bad progress” across the world. The decrease in human capital companies which implies an increase in unemployment. We are also the witnesses of an overconsumption of technological and electronic products and this over-execution result therefore by a rising of pollution due to the increase of scum, resulting in a significant impact on the ecological environment. Another aspect is the time we spend in front of our computer. In fact, a poll has shown that 22% of teens saying that they check their sites more than 10 times a day. They don’t seem to be aware of the long-term personal havoc they could create with a click of a button. The increasing uses of technology make them lose contact with nature. Nowadays, unlike their parents, the young are spending more time inside than outside, playing video games, watching TV, and chatting on the internet. In the same way, it is reducing the instances of contact with others: people have often more virtual relationships than real-life ones.
"Thanks to social networks we are now able to rediscovering long lost friends or to share our activities." Ça serait pas plutôt "rediscover" ? ;) Sinon ça a l'air parfait !
Dans ton intro, il faut que tu dise ton thème et que t'explique ton plan et tu pourrais mettre des phrases de transition comme "there can be no denying to say that..." et "on the other hand" c'est ma prof d'anglais qui ma dit de mettre ça et met pleins de mots de liaison et ta pas de conclusion ?